Fear of Being Insignificant

I know it's been a while since I have written.  Honestly, my head has been so filled with thoughts, I have been trying to figure out how to best put them onto paper.  Two weeks ago we remembered the 10th anniversary of September 11, 2001.  A day that no American will soon forget.  With that, came news specials, constant coverage and the replaying of those horrible sights we all saw unfold before our eyes 10 years ago.  For me, I felt the same anxiety and paranoia that I felt 10 years ago.  As much as I didn't want to watch all of the news coverage, I found myself glued to the TV all over again.  I told myself I would only watch one night of coverage and three days later the TV was still on.  Watching all the children and spouses who lost loved ones on that fateful day was heartbreaking.  Some were born after their parents perished, while others were too young to remember.  But that was only one side of how America was affected by that day. 

Since then, millions of people in the military have been deployed overseas for months at a time, many going back again and again.  And many that never make it back.  They leave families and friends behind and make the ultimate sacrifice.  Fighting a war that some were only in their early teens when it started.  For those who do come back, many are injured, whether it be emotionally or physically.  Many struggle acclimating to civilian life.  For many, their life will never be the same. 

There is an organization that I stumbled across called the Wounded Warrior Project that helps wounded veterans from the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and helps them through a debilitating injury.  Many have lost limbs or are dealing with PTSD.  When you look at the faces of the people they are helping, they are mostly in their twenties and thirties and have their whole life ahead of them.  They signed up to protect our country, made it back alive, but now have to deal with a life changing condition.  They are just like my friends and I.  Young, starting families, and looking forward to settling down.  For them things will never be the same.  The more I watched the coverage of the anniversary of the September 11 attacks, the more I not only wanted to help out the victims of the families, but I wanted to reach out and thank every member of the military and their families for doing something I would never have the courage to do myself. 

That got me thinking.  What could I do to help?  It's so easy to think that the job is so much bigger than me.  I felt so insignificant.  What can just what person do.  But then I read this quote: "Nobody can be everything, but everyone can do something."  Isn't it true?  What would happen if every person donated one dollar or one hour to their favorite charity?  I think it would be pretty amazing.  And pretty significant. 

So, I started researching Wounded Warrior Project to see if they had any local offices that I could volunteer with.  Minnesota isn't exactly a large base for the military, but every state has to have veterans.  Right now I am in the process to try and figure out how I can help.  Updates to follow...

In the meantime, I feel like I have had somewhat of a revelation.  I have been telling some friends about this fun and exciting project I have been working on and reactions have been all over.  Some just say "good for you", while others seem very interested and have asked me more details.  I know it's not for everyone, but for me it has been so exciting to think that I am even impacting one person to do better.  My family has even noticed a difference in my attitude.  They say I seem more happy and less negative.  I even find myself telling myself to calm down on the way to work, where before I had severe road rage.  I am still a work in progress, but aren't we all.  For as long as we are here, we have time to change who we want to be.  I am in no way close to perfect, but I really hope there is a better me waiting to be discovered.  I have already inspired my team at work to volunteer at the barn where I work with horses.  So I guess my experiment is already a success.  My goal was to inspire one person to volunteer and it looks like I have already inspired four and it's only been a month.  I would say that is pretty good.  I can't wait to see what happens in the next eleven months.

I think my biggest revelation might have come in the way of my career.  After seeing all these worthy organizations that are out there helping young veterans and their families I feel like that is my calling.  I feel like I am destined to help them.  It may not work out now or even in the next year, but for the first time in a long time I feel like I have purpose.  For me, being the only single one in my family, I feel that I sometimes have to justify my free time since I couldn't possibly be busy if I don't have a family.  Well screw that I say!  I might not have my own family, but I am choosing to do something good with all my "single" spare time and it feels pretty awesome!  A short while ago, I felt my career had potential.  I felt like I could really be in it for the long haul.  There is potential to make a decent living, but at the end of the day I still think, "all I am doing is analyzing food."   Although my job may be important to the many companies I work with, in the grand scheme of things, I feel like I am not contributing.  So I started to think, "I could stick with my career and donate all my extra free time to volunteering and spending time with a worthy cause OR I could eventually leave my career and donate my life in the way of a job that is meaningful everyday."  This is obviously a huge decision and will take months to decide what I should ultimately do, but I finally feel like I have a goal.

I read this excerpt in my SELF magazine yesterday:
"Set your pace:  To succeed at any challenge in life, you've got to tune out the noise around you - the footsteps of others (ahead and behind), distracting "advice", doubters who tell you it can't be done.  Instead, focus on your inner voice.  Setting your own goal, charting your course and trusting your instincts take courage, but they are the surest route to crossing your personal finish line a winner."

I read this over and over again and just thought how much I agreed.  Some of my friends and family might think I am crazy to even think about giving up my career someday, but for me, being happy and knowing I am doing good is what matters most.  For me I will follow my heart.  There will come mistakes and regrets, but only then will I become a stronger person.  And for that I am grateful.

Check out these pages to find worthy organizations that help wounded military veterans and their families. 

Wounded Warrior Project
www.woundedwarriorproject.org


Special Operations Warrior Foundation
http://www.specialops.org/

Medal of Honor Recipient Dakota Meyer's $1 Million Challenge
http://www.dakotameyer.com/

Until next time,

M